When it's time to make your writing goals uncomfortable

I'm trying something new. So far, it's working, and working well.

I've made the self-publishing process for my book far too comfortable. I poo-poo personal deadlines like they are nothing and replace them with other things for other people in an instant. If a client asks me to do something, I'm there. If I ask myself to do something, I ignore, push away, pretend I'm non-existent.

Why do I do this? Well, to start, it's easier. It's easier not to do the hard thing. But also, there are no real consequences except personal guilt, which is nothing when you're a mother–we always feel guilt. It's in our nature.

I've tried to follow my goals with planners, self-help books, workshops, and writing groups, only to end up with the same result. I've been caring for and indulging myself, treating my inner child with respect and patience, only to be stuck with a spoiled, young self who sits in a corner and whines, "Nope, you can't make me do the hard thing, even though it's good for me."

Enough of that. It's time to be a bad cop. The mean boss who wouldn't let you slack on your stuff. I'm changing my tactic here.

Forcing goals with tough love

Some people might say that forcing yourself to go after a goal is counterproductive–I disagree.

Some of us need tough love. Some of us need to be fully supported in the beginning: have our hands held and our wounds licked and our bellies filled with sweets and such. But then, we need to be pushed out of our nest, hard.

We need to be given goals where the process of NOT accomplishing them is so uncomfortable that we HAVE to do them or risk living in the ick. The 'do it or suffer' approach works well for me. I have to set traps for myself to succeed, or else.

Example: I love social media. I love posting about my journey, connecting with others, and being inspired by others' work. TikTok is kind of my place right now. Raw and easy to pop into whenever.

At first, social media was a huge comfort. It helped me through my separation, depression, in finding my voice, and in finding amazing friends. But now, the online world has become too comfortable. I find myself more distracted than inspired, and I work less on my goals than I talk about them. Not the point of my account at all.

So what am I doing about it? I'm making my social media posts less fun.

Making social media uncomfortable

Instead of letting myself have fun just by posting on social media, I'm setting rules for myself to earn it back. I'm creating tasks that hold me accountable to the same communities I confessed to and promised I would write a book for.

Side note: I'm a huge Stranger Things fan, and I was just as obsessed with the final season coming out as anyone else. One day, I saw someone post a filter on their account that made their photos look like they were taken in the Upside Down. I loved it. Had to try.

I posted my first post of 2026 from 'the Upside Down' and, in a moment of inspiration, said, "I'm going to use this filter for all of my posts until I publish my poetry book." Here was my caption:

Shell Sherwood TikTok Account

I ended 2025 with a lot of determination, a ton of inspiration but also a lot of anger.

The kind of anger that makes you want to change everything and go after anything and anyone who helped to hold you back. To embody Nancy Wheeler from Season 5 and refuse to take sh*t from all directions.

This view of the Hudson Valley is one of my favorites now and I’m grateful to my partner for sharing it. 2026 will be a year of beauty and destruction of barriers for me. Standing on a cliff over the Hudson is empowering and terrifying in a way I needed to propel myself into my next chapter.

So much of my life I have let others decide what I am worth and capable of, only to be disappointed consistently in myself. I’ve let others question my risks and smother my voice and keep me in a box that makes sense to them.

Cheers to throwing it all to the wind to see what comes back and gearing up to flip my world upside down for the better…again ✨

In a subsequent post, I started counting, saying I was staying in the Upside Down until I published my book. Wow. Sounds cool. It was cool for a second and inspiring for the first three posts. Now what?

Living uncomfortably–publicly

I started to regret the challenge I made for myself almost immediately. The filter started making my pretty photos funky, and my videos started looking demonic. I thought about saying "Just kidding! Doing something else." But then I realized, I think I need this.

I need a reason not to feel comfortable posting, so I can do more writing than scrolling/posting. I need to talk less about what I'm doing and do more of what I'm saying I'm doing. Show, not tell, just like writers always say.

There have been a few videos discussing more serious topics that I chose not to use the filter on, because I want people to take them seriously. But the rest look stupid now. If I want my aesthetic back, I have to publish this poetry book, or live in the Upside Down forever.

The idea of telling people that I quit is far more scary than people thinking my feed looks stupid for a few...hopefully just weeks or so! Time will tell.

Keeping my book in sight

Another subtler tactic I've been using to make myself uncomfortable while accomplishing my goals is keeping my book in my line of sight at all times.

I took the time to print out and make a physical rough draft of my poetry book. I keep it on my desk, my nightstand, my altar, my lapdesk, on the kitchen table. I carry it around with my planner, even if I'm not working on it. I do this to haunt myself, taunt myself, and never let myself forget that it's unfinished in this sad-looking form.

This also helps because the people around me are like, "Oh! Working on your book?" Sounds stupid if you say "Nope, just carrying it around a bit." So I say 'yes,' and then I do it. Simple case of peer pressure gone right.

It's all working. I post less, write more, and I'm making small changes to get up earlier, create first, and not forget about my goals. It's not perfect, and it's taking time, but that's okay. I'm in it for the long ride.

Don't fix the challenges, embrace them

I'm slowly doing more things to make myself uncomfortable till I finish my book. You love that new coffee pot? Nope–that's a present for when you publish. You love sleeping in? Too bad. You have to wake up early to write your book.

Instead of fighting them, finding ways around them, or eliminating them (like I usually do), I'm embracing these challenges. I'm surrendering and creating disciplined habits to reach my goals within my ability. I don't stop working, skip baseball games, or check out of family time. But I am taking steps every day that are non-negotiable, and leaving reminders about why I have to do it for myself.

What do you do to stay on top of your goals? Do you choose comfort over discomfort? Let me know!

Till next time, dreamers,