Poet's Journey: The fear of formatting a poetry book

Dreamers, it's finally happening–I've started formatting my poetry book.

I'll be honest, I thought this day would never come. I've been editing my poetry book for nearly five years. In retrospect, far too long.

But despite all my outward confidence, I still sometimes let my imposter syndrome convince me that this book will remain a secret. Meant to stay confessions in my brain or a 'hobby' to hide in journals tucked under my bed. Nothing more.

Thankfully, that's the old me, one who kept my words and creative aspirations to myself. Hiding doesn't align with the poet I wish to be or how I intend to finish off the last years of my 30's. I promised myself by 40 I would have my first book in hand. After turning 38 in October, that gives me two more years to make it happen.

Formatting feels final

That being said, formatting has been a little more stressful than editing my poetry book. Why? Because it feels more final than I'm ready for.

For those of you who have been following my journey on TikTok, I've been working through The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron since August. This is my second attempt (after quitting at Week 6 the first time), and I'm proud to say I've almost finished. Yes, it's taking more than the 12 weeks it was supposed to be. Chaos often enters my life when I'm on the brink of creative success. Don't come for me.

Despite my slow pace, one of the best lessons I've learned from this journey is the importance of perseverance and finishing. To stop endlessly editing, fixing, and recreating– just finish the damn thing and move on to the next.

This concept is so simple yet can feel incredibly challenging for us creatives. We never believe our work is done. It can always be better, stronger, deeper. The more we stare, the more we play with it. We can't help it. But it makes walking away and finishing hard.

At the beginning of October, after finishing Chapter 8, "Recovering a Sense of Strength," I realized it was time to finish this book. I had to stop trying to make it perfect and accept it for what it is in the phase of life it was written in. I've felt it was time to move on to the next project for a while, and to do that, I have to publish this one.

It's still scary, and it feels a little wrong. But I know it's the right thing to do.

Programs for formatting poetry books

After reviewing several programs, I decided to use Affinity. They just released a new version merged with Canva, and I figured that was a sign for me. I know Canva. I love Canva. It seemed like a perfect transition.

The hard truth is, choosing the right program was essential to not feeding my inner critic. If I picked something too complicated, I might throw my hands up, and it would be another five years until I made this book a book. I'd be stuck in the endless toxic writing cycle of thinking this was all a mistake, not worth my time. But it is, and my new unapologetic creative self if getting this done.

I've dabbled briefly in the program, still learning. I'm going on a writing retreat next week (my first) with the amazing mom writers I've been plotting, planning, and dreaming alongside since joining the Moms Who Write back in 2020. I can sense the impact this trip is going to have already, and I know I'll walk away with some significant progress and motivation.

I can't believe it's been since last winter that I posted here. So much has happened, and I'm eager to share more.

Till next time, dreamers,

Disclaimer: This blog contains Amazon Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases to help fund my dream of being a published author and poet. I love and appreciate you so much!

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