crackers & milk

8 hours ago
1 min read

a poetic exploration of postpartum

A free verse poem about the complicated emotions of breastfeeding and early motherhood. The speaker describes late-night nursing while eating peanut butter and crackers, physical pain, the intimacy of feeding her baby, outside pressure surrounding breastfeeding, and her desire to savor the quiet moments alone with her child. The poem ends with the speaker wondering whether the wet crumbs she wipes away are soggy crackers or tears.

electric shocks

shoot fiercely through my breasts

I’d massage them

but my hands are caked in peanut butter

and cracker salt

a late-night habit formed

out of fear

of smothering my child beneath my weight

at the only time I find joy in nurturing

from my own body

an experience I yearned for

dreamed of

labeled a nuisance by jealous voices

whose opinions

are never silent

rushers, of a sacred process

pure intimacy

a moment for just two souls

blood running deep

in separate streams

every time I think I’m close

to mending gaping wounds

broken from circumstances

out of my control

they're severed from impatience

selfish desires

grabby hands

snatching before the last drop settles

gulping cheeks barely deflated

my heart hollows with every steal

so I savor

these witching hour moments

as the electric shocks subside

I sleeve the peanut smears from my face

lick the salt from my fingertips

before setting

to burp this gentle creature

now covered in debris

debating in darkness

if the bits I swiped away were

soggy crackers or tears.

^{*This poem is from my debut collection,}^{Shadow Confessions}^{, a haunting, poetic exploration of PMDD, motherhood, mental health, love, loss, and the resilience found in our darkest moments. Enter the confessions room below to find out more.}

Shadow Confessions: Raw Version poetry book by Shell Sherwood with the words “Enter the Confession Room,” inviting readers to explore a raw poetry collection about PMDD, mental health, motherhood, trauma, love, and resilience.

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